Venting ! 😤😤

I feel as though I am a lost soul I don't belong.  I'm not accomplishing anything. Where can I go what can I do school I feel as though its not for me but I miss it when I'm not there.  Time is not waiting fa me I need some encouragement. Some options.  They say you wanna make it in like have money but these jobs not paying enough I'm 20 still living at home yes I hate it I wanna move out my bf lives in a another city I want him here so bad just to hold me share things together but at the same time I'm scared I'm afraid of failing as always so that's what holds me back. What if we live together and it's not good it doesn't work what I do then? And I love him so much sound crazy huh. I'm not crazy but I feel I'm hurting myself killing my own dreams by not going after them.  I wanna fly but I'm the one holding myself back.